I really need to get out and meet new people. I really liked having friends away from my own friendship group, but fucking yet again they win over and I’m left forgotten, only there to fill in numbers or be the extra $20 in the cab fare home from the city early Sunday mornings. Fuck, maybe I should feel content as this may be all I will ever be to these people.
Getting over feelings is a bigger test though, and getting turned down for the 1378546th time doesn’t get any easier.
Please dont get institutionialized in the friend zone Douglas, because you’re going to have to escape it some time.
Mum always tells me that I remind her of my uncle because we were so similar. If he were still alive I’d be intrigued to know if he ever felt the same way I do now when he was 19.
It’s her imperfections that have got me swooning and so intrigued about her. Teenage love lyfe issues
School is the most therapeutic thing for me right about now which is super strange to admit. So hopefully learning about how to help people with their own problems will help me deal with my own. Oh how I hate the little monsters in my mind that make me measure my own self worth on whether or not people find me attractive or not.
I should take this to live journal because i can seriously see myself being crucified for being such a teenage girl. Peace.
I wish there was a successful formula for getting over people/things, that actually works consecutively.. because this time around breaking bad, scrubs, fireworks! and bukowkski novels just aren’t doing the trick….
I was sitting in my class one time before Easter break and the teacher randomly went around the room and got everyone to tell the group what fruit or vegetable they feel they most resemble- something I laughed at. I said a brussel sprout, because no one likes me…. well at least I laughed hey! But one of the mature students said a pumpkin and when asked why he said ‘because of meeee red hair’ and everyone laughed of course, but he had a stern look and when it all toned down he said ‘No, because the seeds can be re-planted, like me’ and all at once everyone’s attention was grabbed, I guess you had to be there. I thought that moment was pretty rad and still think of it from time to time.
so weird seeing your old best friends from primary school and comparing the path you have taken to theirs’. so grateful that i’ve had the support that these kids didn’t have, instead they’ve made choices that sadly will most probably stick with them for a great proportion of their life. i guess my sister was right in telling me that it’s not classrooms or text books we learn the most from, but the people we encounter, as cliche as it sounds. People are the most valuble resource. And it is true, whether we like it or not, that we carry around peices of other people in us that coherently form parts of us.
fuck, i should write a book or something, would definitely get me onto sunrise, or better yet.. the 7pm project.
